Wednesday, June 4, 2003

anticipation

I've got this overwhelming sense of anticipation coursing through me lately. I'm not sure what's up with that but I'm not worried. I keep waiting for it to pass, like gas or nausea, but it's been around for atleast a week or two and I'm just rounding eagerly antipation and heading toward being really annoyed.

Y'see it's not like I have concert tickets or a big trip scheduled. In fact I don't have anything specific planned. Okay, there *is* a garage sale in July, but I'm pretty darn sure all this excitement isn't about me unloading some old tupperware, computer parts and coffee mugs. I'm trying to relax into it. It's like when you misplace your keys, run around frantically looking for them, retracing your steps and still don't find them. In a moment of desperation, right before you call the office to tell them you'll be late, you go for the zen approach - take a deep breath - and pretend that you aren't looking for them anymore. Following the believe that things will appear when you stop looking for them. That's where I am right now.

Damn! I'm still annoyed. Okay so I've been getting things in order, y'know so that I'll be ready for whatever is coming my way. (ooh, maybe I will win Super lotto. Wouldn't that be cool?) So anyway, I've pulled out the few boxes still hanging around and I've sorted and discarded a bunch of papers. I did get those sweet little tomato plants into their containers. I rescheduled the dentist appointment that I missed when I was too distracted by my trip to New York to see my mom. I made an appointment to get my eyes checked, my radiator flushed and squeeky brakes replaced. (The last two were for my car not me. Sheesh!). Things are right on track. Yessiree.

*sigh* okay at some point I'll be all organized and it's a district possibility that this sense of anticipation will just slink away without making a grand appearance. There is nothing good to watch on TV and once I finish the last few books on my reading pile I'm going to be bored.

So this is your chance to come up with some great distractions for me. What movies should I be renting from Netflix? I actually watched large chunks of Monster House, Monster Garage and American Chopper last Monday night, so you've got to help me out here. What books should I be reading and for those SF Bay Area people, what things should I be doing?

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